Finding Real Color
by Mystic Shadow Demon
Summary: "Ne, Hidan, why're you always so masochist? Why do you keep cuttin' yourself for fun?" the masked man asked his partner. The man rolled his amethyst eyes up, wondering about the question that his miser of a partner had asked him. "Because..."


A one shot I randomly thought up one night while laying in bed, thinking about colors and blood...If you hate people cutting, blood, or anything of the sort, I'd advise you to hit that back button right now. Flamers, please don't say this is "emo", I _hate_ people abusing the term and using it as slander. So refrain from saying that. Seriously.

**Warning: **People cutting, blood, masochism, things like that. People with hemophobia, I highly suggest you click that back button. The descriptions of blood and bloodthirstiness might seem a bit too vampire-ish. **  
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**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters Hidan and Kakuzu, Masashi Kishimoto does. I own everything else though. So please don't steal it.

© 2011

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><p>"Ne, Hidan, why're you always so masochist? Why do you keep cuttin' yourself for fun?" the masked man asked his partner, who was currently sitting on his bed, blood dripping knife in hand, a stream of blood on his fingertips.<p>

The man rolled his amethyst eyes up, wondering about the question that his miser of a partner had asked him. Memories from the years when the albino had been but a child played in his head.

Screams of laughter echoed throughout the park. Many children were swinging on the swings, sliding down the slippery slides or just playing ball or tag with the other kids. However, there was one unusual kid that differed among the groups of child. She wasn't playing tag, kickball, or anything at all. She wasn't swinging on the swings, or sliding down the slides. No, she wasn't doing anything that the other kids were doing. She wasn't even talking. What she was doing was sitting, on the bench, watching everyone.

For a moment, young little nine-year-old Hidan stopped running after the red kickball to stare at her. Confusion glinted in his usually amused amethyst eyes. His lips were slightly parted, revealing part of his white teeth, which matched his silver messy hair, his bangs just barely covering his silver eyebrows.

"Oi Hidan, what're you standing there for?" a boy near Hidan's age asked.

He followed the albino's gaze only to find the lonely girl sitting there on the bench, staring at a tree that looked ready to collapse and tumble with its weak state.

"Who's she?" Hidan hadn't expected his voice to sound so soft and delicate, just like that girl.

"I don't– hey, what's she doing?" The boys stared more intently.

A shiny glint reflected from something behind the girl's back, her fingers tightening around the object. Feeling that the object was secure in her grasp, she pulled it out from behind her. Small gasps emitted from the group of children that all crowded behind Hidan, wanting to see what he was so indulged in. A sharp blade laid in the girl's fragile fingers. She seemed mesmerized with the silver metal object.

"What's she gonna–" More gasps escaped the shocked children's hoarse throats.

The girl slipped the kunai-like dagger in her right hand, lifted up her left hand with fingers outstretched and sliced the cold blade through her creamy colored fingers. When the blade penetrated her soft skin, scarlet blood oozed out of the gap. Her lips that were just a small dot before now had its corners slightly tugged into a small smile.

"Ahh!"

"Emo freak!"

"Masochist weirdo!"

"She's gonna kill us all!"

The screams of all the mortified children broke the ringing of laughter that still lingered in the air. Once the words entered the girl's ears and registered in her brain, her smile slowly turned upside down. Now the corners of her smile drooped down. It gradually drooped down even more with the new or repeated insults being shot at her, like bullets through her heart. The screams grew louder and louder with each second. Soon, everyone fled in fear, except for Hidan, evacuating the playground, in search of comfort from their endearing families and away from the 'emo freak', as they called her. Pleased with everyone leaving her alone, the girl's frown lightly pulled upwards. She returned to what she was doing before she was so rudely interrupted.

Her dark pink tongue slithered out of her mouth as she lifted her bloodied fingers up. Before she could taste the metallic sensation of her newfound drink, she was caught off-guard when a voice cut through the atmosphere.

"Why?" Hidan stared at the girl with questioning eyes.

The girl smiled a sad, small smile before patting the empty spot on the bench with her right hand, knife still in tact. Curious, the little albino complied to the silent command. Shuffling his feet towards the bench, he sat down next to her, still gaping at her with that bewildered expression on his face.

"Why did you do that? Doesn't it hurt?" He expanded his question.

"Pain is refreshing, it feels good," the girl replied, surprising Hidan by talking. For a second, he had thought she was a mute. He had now fallen even deeper in the chasm of confusion.

"Pain? How does it 'feel good'? It hurts!"

"Pain is a way for humans to understand each other, and grow closer because pain unites and draws them together. Pain also helps us grow stronger, physically and mentally. When you fall down and get hurt, you have to stand up and endure the pain, no matter how badly it hurts. And once you get over something that once hurt you real bad, you showed the world you survived it, and you've grown stronger because of it. Pain is like your teacher. Pain is a virtue." The boy gaped at the girl's reply. He hadn't thought of it that way.

"Besides," she closed her eyes, tilted her head, and smiled, "the stinging, the burning, the painful feeling coursing through your body. The thrill to have it split through your injury. It just feels so entralling. So good that it sends delightful shivers down my spine." She grabbed both her arms with her hands. Hidan thought about this for a moment. "It's pure ecstasy."

"Yeah...I guess that makes sense!" he grinned, though it disappeared when a question popped up in his mind. "Why do you do it intentionally though? Shouldn't you let pain come your way without self-harming?"

Her smile grew. "Because, I want to find real color," she answered as if it was the easiest question ever asked.

Hidan widened his eyes. "Color?"

The girl simply nodded, licking the liquid she so desired off of her fingers. "The world is a rotten and filthy place. It's all so bland," she frowned deeply at this. "I want to find more colors. Pretty ones this time."

"So...you're trying to find real colors?" Hidan repeated, slowly getting what she meant.

She nodded, more faster this time around as she grinned. "Yeah!"

"Well, good luck with that," he flashed her a genuine smile. "I gotta go now. Catch ya later." He hopped off the bench and waved to the girl before heading off, dashing home.

As Hidan ran back home as fast as he could that day, the world seemed to change around him. Everything seemed black or dark all of a sudden. The usual light blue skies seemed pitch black with dark grey clouds rolling in and raining over everything with crimson red blood, soaking everything and everyone within range. Not that anyone cared. Everyone, including the animals, seemed to transform into brainless zombies, all so slow and dead. Like they were alive, but dead inside. As if they had been brainwashed and had their life sucked out. Slowly the world contorted into a hideous dark and bland planet, just like the world the girl had described. He didn't think he could've ever been more happier in his life than when he reached his house. Running towards the kitchen, he plopped himself down on a chair.

He never realized that the girl's words could've been any more accurate than now. Slightly gasping for much needed oxygen, Hidan looked on the dining glass table. What laid on its shiny surface was a sharpened knife, pointing to Hidan as if it was calling out to him. He gulped, then took the blade in his hand.

"I wonder...could I find real color?"

*:• ✰.•:*

"She was a very...weird girl, but she was definitely unique. I hope that she will be able to find joy and happiness to where she is now." Her father ended his speech.

He stepped off the podium to hug his wife close, who was now weeping of sorrow. The girl's picture laid in front of her artistically carved tombstone, her name, birth date, death date, and 'Here lies one of the most unique person in the world.' etched on the surface. Hidan looked at all the people that attended the funeral, which wasn't much, just barely five or six people. The ones that did attend didn't even look like they cared, excluding her parents. For some unknown reason, this made Hidan's blood pressure spike in rage. His clenched fists trembled in wrath. Blood streamed down his fingers, his sharp nails breaking through his flesh. His rage was mildly cooled off when everyone left. The only one who stayed behind when the funeral ended was Hidan.

He took a step forward, crushing blades of the grass, but he didn't care. His eyes remained on the tombstone. His heart felt hollow, but not for the reason many of you may think. He felt...alone in this world, now that his only friend was gone. She was the only one who understood him, and vice versa. Now there was no one who could understand and share the joy of pain with him. She was right about many things, but the one that stuck in Hidan's mind right now was, "Pain is a way for humans to understand each other, and grow closer because pain unites and draws them together."

"You don't know how true that is..." Hidan whispered to the grave, sadness ringing in his tone. No matter how depressed and crestfallen he felt, tears wouldn't creep down his cheeks. He just felt cold, forlorn, yet emotionless at the same time. He bent down and sat in front of the grave, just staring at it, like the first time he had stared at the girl. Her precious blade was placed beside the picture. Hidan made no hesitation as he reached for the knife, fiddling with the red ribbon wrapped around the dagger's handle. His hold on the knife became stern and firm as his left index finger stuck out. Slicing the blade against his cool skin, he relished the pain burning through his finger. A deep gap with blood dripping out of it appeared after a few seconds. Hidan held his finger over the grave, letting the blood drip down and splattering the blades of the grass.

He smiled, "If only you had been alive just a little longer... After researching through all those books, I've finally found the perfect solution. I've found really cool religion, I think you would've loved it. It allowed you to become immortal, and you could sacrifice your enemies by inflicting pain on yourself, like you're a live voodoo doll. Lord Jashin, the god of this religion, is really awesome. He would've loved you," he sighed before continuing on, smiling. "Why...? Why did you have to die so soon? Just a few more minutes and I would've reached you in time, and _then_ you could've stabbed your heart to your heart's content."

Hidan chuckled at the ironic pun. He saw and heard something else fall on the grass. He reached up to his face, feeling something wet and taking his finger away from his cheek to examine what it was, only to realize it was tears. He was crying. For the first time in years. Hidan, was crying. He smiled to himself, letting the tears unconsciously flow out.

"Did you...ever find real color?" Hidan gripped the bouquet of flamboyant roses of all sorts of color: red, blue, yellow, white, and black. Roses he grew himself, in order to show the girl that _some_ things in the world had real color. He laid it in front of her grave and left without a sound, taking her most prized possession with him, knowing that's what she would've wanted him to do.

"Hidan!" Kakuzu's thundering voice brought Hidan back from his daydreaming.

"Huh?" the albino stupidly asked.

"Answer my question," his partner growled.

Hidan's amethyst eyes fell on the girl's blade, edges now painted with his blood. The liquid trickled down Hidan's fingers and arms. He studied the blade, a picture of the girl's smiling face arising in his mind. He brought the blade up, only to lick the edges clean of blood, which pierced his tongue only to make more delicious blood flow out. He savored the metallic taste.

"To...find color," Hidan answered, breaking the silence.

"Wha? To find color?" Kakuzu raised his eyebrow, which couldn't be seen with his mask still on. Hidan only nodded. "You're fucked in the head, y'know that? There's colors all around us. Are you colorblind?"

Hidan's gaze dropped to the floor once more, only to find droplets of his blood dripping and creating an abstract art of some sort, the floor his canvas, the blood his paint, and the girl his muse. He knew that Kakuzu would never understand, but it was worth a try.

"Whatever. Just make sure you clean your blood up. Do you know how much soap and clean towels cost these days?"

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><p><strong>(1) - <strong>The description of pain being a virtue and whatnot wasn't originally suppose to be there, but I just embedded it in anyway. I wasn't suppose to go this deep through the concept since I like to think of this piece as abstract, but I thought that the people who didn't cut or who didn't get it needed a better mental picture on the subject.**  
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I think this is honestly my best piece of writing _ever_. It was suppose to be an abstract piece of work, so it wasn't suppose to be that descriptive. I failed in that department seeing as how many people failed to realize what I meant. There's no real meaning to this. There're different ways to interpret it, so don't argue over what it's suppose to mean. This was not a romance, it was kind of like friendship I guess. I don't care if you hated it, I know it sucked, but I for one loved it.

Please don't bash on it sayin' that I'm "emo" or whatever. I know that this piece fits the stereotype, thanks to my friends. I don't need you to parrot their words. I've heard it enough. I think I got the message the first time around.

Anyway, I'd love to hear what you thought about it, maybe your interpretations on it or just some criticism. So please do tell me. Anyway, that's all for now.

¤ Mystic Shadow Demon


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